Seven's Song (The Hunchback)

I am just a hunchback

And a madman's humble clone

I have pondered my existance

In a smock and safety goggles

Such assurances

Are small at best

Still, a man guards fears he wants to fear

And disregards the rest

With the lab my home

And my family

I was made to be employed

In the company of monsters

In the chaos of the absent caution

Nothing dared

Nothing known

Know my name is but a number

Tribute to the six before

Legacy of failures

All those clones of yore

I say why

I say why say, why say why, I say why

Why say I say, why say why, I say why say why

Seeking dangerous missing monsters

I go leaving from the lab

But I find no horrors

In the basement hall of doors

The doctor calls to me

"Look under there"

Does that make this all a joke

Sung 'bout

Some monster underwear

I say why

I say why say, why say why, I say why

Why say I say, why say why, I say why say why

When I ponder on the matters past

And wond'ring where I'm from

Chromosome

Where the synapse tempers matters

Of insanity

Sanity

Chromosome

In the lab room stands a madman

And a doctor by his trade

There he conjures his assistants

With fev'ry drive that gave him muse

In madness, when he made me

Flipped the axis of my brain

Am I saner?  Am I saner?

Well, it's not for me to say

I say why

I say why say, why say why, I say why

Why say I say, why say why, I say why say why….

That Button

Hey, dig it now

Yeah, hey

Yeah once I was a smooth grave diggah

Diggin' it all night and all day

I never had no problems, yeah

With extra limbs and organs comin' my way

Then I met up with this groovy mad man

With funky gadgets that would blow your mind

Payin' me a pretty penny (Yes he did)

For all the freshest brains that I could find

Yeah he had gadgets and gizmos and crazy cool contraptions

And just when I saw it, a voice inside my head said

What's that button there do, hunchback?

Why's that button oh so bright?

What's that button there do, hunchback?

Press down that button, press that button down until you die

'Til you die?

'Til you die!

Oh my

Well I tried to stop this feeling

Yeah huh, I thought that I was out of my mind

How could I be so foolish (how could I)

Cause that button's not the pushin' kind

Still I had to fight this fever

A crazy impulse I can not explain (what did you do)

I said "I must go back there" (I've gotta go back)

See those buttons still be flashin' the same

Yeah he had gadgets and gizmos and crazy cool contraptions

And just when I saw it, a voice inside my head said

What's that button there do, hunchback?

Why's that button oh so bright?

What's that button there do, hunchback?

Press down that button, press that button down until you die

'Til you die (Yeah)

'Til you die

(Gotta press that big red button down!)

(Hey, wait a minute)

Now first it wasn't easy

Come to grips with words in my mind, my hands were gettin' shaky

Negotiate my mental decline

But now it's so much better (it's so much better)

I've taught those voices who gets their way

So I went back to that groovy mad man

To prove that everything was okay

'Cuz he had gadgets and gizmos and crazy cool contraptions

And just when I saw it, a voice inside my head said

What's that button there do, hunchback?

Press it down with all of your might

Press that flashy button hunchback

Press down that button, press that button down until you die

'Til you die

Yeah, 'til you die

The voice said, press that flashy button

(Press that flashy button)

Press that flashy button

(Press that big red flashy button down)

Press that flashy button

(Press that flashy button)

Press that flashy button

Press it, press it, press it, won't ya

Press that flashy button hunchback

Press it down with all of your might, oh yeah

Press that flashy button hunchback

Press it down with all of your might

Press that flashy button hunchback

Press it down with all of your might

*CLICK*

Uh oh…

Lost: Giant Squirrel

I lost my monster squirrel

That rodent should be easy to find

Yeah he's got a fluffy tail

He's seven stories high

Got cute big bucky teeth like I drew here on this sign

Yeah, I got reward upon the sign

If you see him you just got to let me know it

Phone number's on the bottom, you can call me any time

You know I wish I had my giant squirrel

Why can't I find my giant squirrel

Where can I find a rodent like that?

I passed over by the pound

It's still standing so he hasn't been found

Marines are closing in and their orders are to shoot

But bullets bounce right off him so the point is probably moot

Yeah, rewards written there on the sign

If you see him you just got to telephone it

My number's on the bottom, you can call me any time

You know I wish I had my giant squirrel

Why can't I find my giant squirrel

Where can I find a rodent like that?

My giant squirrel

I wish I had my giant squirrel

Where can I find a rodent

Where can I find a rodent like that

And one more thing you really oughta know That squirrel's a digger, everywhere he goes So if you see ravines or mountains that are new You gotta let me know, it could just be a clue

Tell me, why can't I find a rodent like that?

You know, I wish I could find my giant squirrel

I wish I'd find my giant squirrel

Where is my giant squirrel?

Where can I find a rodent like that?

Where's my giant squirrel

I want to find my giant squirrel

I want, I want my giant squirrel

I Stomped the City

I stomped the city

But I didn't stomp the doctor's lab

I stomped the city

But I didn't stomp the doctor's lab

Yeah all around the rubble

There's hunchbacks with shrinking rays

They say I'm the monster they want to nab

For the flaten'n of the doctor's lab

For the flaten'n of the doctor's lab

But I say!

I stomped the city

Honestly it was a lot of fun

I stomped the city

Now they're coming with their shrinky ray guns

Doctor Goo, well he created me

Giant size, and eyes that glow

Every time that I stomp something

He give me potions that make me grow

He give me potions and they make me grow

And so

I stomped the city

It's hard not to when you're this immense

What happened to the doctor's lab?

I stomped the city

But you know they pack those buildings in too dense

Freedom came my way one day

And I found my way into town

All of those buildings crowded all around

And so I stomped them down

Yeah, I stomped, I stomped, I stomped the town

They put those buildings in my way!

I stomped the city

But I say, I did not stomp the doctor's lab

I stomped the city, oh yeah

But I didn't stomp the doctor's lab

Hunchback Rag

The doctor's labrotory

is the setting to our story

it's where we spend our ti-i-ime

While he's creating creatures

mixing mixtures in his beakers

we're mopping monster sli-i-ime

Cause those monsters that he's making

have a hunger there's no slaking

and their manners are a mess

(oh yes) it's true

And their drooly sloppy munchin's

and their gruely gloppy crunchin's

left a mess of monster goo-oo-oo

Your monster's cooo-ooo-ool

But it's got a drool-ie prob-lem

a crunchin

and a munchin

and a lunchin

* it's not even potty trained I fear *

( -Oh-  dear)

But now I figure

we got a bigger problem

That big bad beastie's coming over here!

over here, over here, over here?!?

When that monster's got the munchies

it isn't just a hunch

-He's- -Got-

hunchbacks on his miiii-iiind

Now our knees they are a quaking

We're a shivering and shaking

-Cuz- -We're-

Really in a bind

(We're hunchbacks - not lunch snacks!)

You Big Bad Beast

Go get yourself away

Right now!  -To-Day!-

(Bad monster!  Stay!)

And now you

-See- -We-

We got another problem

-I'm- -AAA-…

fraid we're over-worked and under-paid

So, Doc (here)

Here we are (with)

With our picket signs

sign.  ^sign.  ^^sign.

We're strike-ing

On strike now

It's A-Bout time

time.  ^time.  ^^time.

Don't think you'll

Get a hunch-back

A-Cross our picket LI-IIIIiiiIIII-IIIIiiiiIIII-IIIIIIiiiiIIIIine!

Here is a list of our demands.

- We find the title hunchback derogatory and henceforth wish to be called:

Vertically Challenged Anatomical Aquisition Specialists

- We also want obedience school for you-know-who.  And a leash.  And a muzzle.

- Additionally, we would like you to shift your research to monsters that are

Small and Cuddly

- We also want a Two Dollar and Fifty cent raise

- "and a new shovel!"

- Yes.  And…

- "a big one too cuz that monster leaves huge piles of…"

- We DEMAND proper chiropractic coverage!

- *murmers of agreement from other hunchbacks*

- "and a wheelbarrow too!"

- and we want some nifty gadgets.  It's no fair that you get all the cool stuff to yourself.

*quickly from each hunchback*  <a jet pack> <a brain swapper> <a holographic postcard maker>  <a time machine>  <a clapper for the back door porch light>

Trick Mouse

I've got a trick - mouse

Come Friday night I'm(ii-ya) - gonna show 'em what it's all about

Cuz he's a trick - mouse

The deck is stacked - cuz that mouse's act

ain't holding nothing back

Yeah, that's a trick - mouse

We put together - this mousey show

This is how the story goes

The trick-ee-est mouse - you ever seen

Got mousey skills, and lots of fans.  Yeah. Yeah.

Doing backflips and cartwheels on an itty bitty trampolene

Does a flip, to the floor, what a trick (Yow!) Like a movie scene!

Cuz he's a trick - mouse

He's teeny tiny - trick it like a big king kong

That's a trick - mouse

The house is packed - (for) that mouse's act

ain't holding nothing back

Pass him a marble - he knows just what to do

He'll dribble it over and make a basket in your shoe! (Hey!)

He's a trick - mouse

Yeah he wants the cheese, the only cheese

Nibblin' the parmesean                                 (pronounced parm-ma-ka-zhan)

He likes the applause, and he likes the praise

He gets the crowd all worked into a craze, yeah yeah

Climb up my pants leg - and go on out my sleeve

He's got the tricks to trick you out of your cheese

Cuz, he's a trick - mouse

My whitey tighties better keep that darn thing out

He's a trick - mouse

The deck is stacked - cuz that mouse's act

Ain't holding nothing back (Yow!)

Cheesey cracker, cheesey crack-Kah!         (Repeat x4, end crack-ka-ka-KA)

Trick - mouse

He's teeny tiny - trick it like a big king kong

Cuz he's a trick - mouse

Yeah he wants the cheese, the only cheese

Nibblin' the parmesean                                   (pronounced parm-ma-ka-zhan)

Cheesey cracker, cheesey crack-Kah!         (Repeat x3)

Cheesey!

Zombie Squirrel

I was driving home, one strange Halloween - and then like a dream

Took a turn, by the old walnut tree - and there it was

In front of me - much too late - too slow down

Tell me why did the squirrel - cross the road - with that nut - in it's mouth

Well I veered to the right - and that squirrel dodged right too

Veered to the left - but that squirrel.. did not know.. what to do

Then I hit - felt the bump - heard the sound

People always told me - be careful out when you drive

And don't go around - running - those - squirrels - down

And mother always told me - put on clean underwear

Then that squirrel jumped up on my car - and gave me quite a scare

(oh mama)

Zombie squirrel you got run over

Now you are flat - and say that - I took your nut

But - my door - is - going to stay shut

You say that I took your nut - but my door is going to stay shut

(silly squirreley giggle-chatters)

Around the block - and - through - the car wash

You held my wiper blade

But I couldn't stand - your nutty squirrel demands

(For) - al.monds  and  pe.cans

Cause I crushed - the walnut - you had found

Look, I a-pol-o-gise

For your truly dubious demise

and I (sym-path-ize) sym-path-ize (yeah)

But I don't have your nut!

Gas tank nearing empty - I knew what had to be

Turned around - traveled back - crashed into that tree!

And the nuts began a-falling

From the sky but not in time (oh)

For I crushed - the walnut - you had found

eee eee nutty nut yummy yummy nut nut (in squirrely voice)

People always told me to pack along some spare cashews

In case a zombie squirrel ever came around

But that squirrel came chatty closer

In that moment, then I knew

That there was nothing I could do

Now it wanted macaroons

Nut nutty cookie please (in squirrely voice)

Zombie squirrel you got run over.  Zombie squirrel you got run over

You say that I took your nut

Zombie squirrel you got run over.  Zombie squirrel you got run over

You say that I took your nut - but my door is going to stay shut