Hunchback Rag

This is an original barbershop quartet parody

The doctor's labrotory

is the setting to our story

it's where we spend our ti-i-ime

While he's creating creatures

mixing mixtures in his beakers

we're mopping monster sli-i-ime

Cause those monsters that he's making

have a hunger there's no slaking

and their manners are a mess

(oh yes) it's true

And their drooly sloppy munchin's

and their gruely gloppy crunchin's

left a mess of monster goo-oo-oo

Your monster's cooo-ooo-ool

But it's got a drool-ie prob-lem

a crunchin

and a munchin

and a lunchin

* it's not even potty trained I fear *

( -Oh-  dear)

But now I figure

we got a bigger problem

That big bad beastie's coming over here!

over here, over here, over here?!?

When that monster's got the munchies

it isn't just a hunch

-He's- -Got-

hunchbacks on his miiii-iiind

Now our knees they are a quaking

We're a shivering and shaking

-Cuz- -We're-

Really in a bind

(We're hunchbacks - not lunch snacks!)

You Big Bad Beast

Go get yourself away

Right now!  -To-Day!-

(Bad monster!  Stay!)

And now you

-See- -We-

We got another problem

-I'm- -AAA-…

fraid we're over-worked and under-paid

So, Doc (here)

Here we are (with)

With our picket signs

sign.  ^sign.  ^^sign.

We're strike-ing

On strike now

It's A-Bout time

time.  ^time.  ^^time.

Don't think you'll

Get a hunch-back

A-Cross our picket LI-IIIIiiiIIII-IIIIiiiiIIII-IIIIIIiiiiIIIIine!

Here is a list of our demands.

- We find the title hunchback derogatory and henceforth wish to be called:

Vertically Challenged Anatomical Aquisition Specialists

- We also want obedience school for you-know-who.  And a leash.  And a muzzle.

- Additionally, we would like you to shift your research to monsters that are

Small and Cuddly

- We also want a Two Dollar and Fifty cent raise

- "and a new shovel!"

- Yes.  And…

- "a big one too cuz that monster leaves huge piles of…"

- We DEMAND proper chiropractic coverage!

- *murmers of agreement from other hunchbacks*

- "and a wheelbarrow too!"

- and we want some nifty gadgets.  It's no fair that you get all the cool stuff to yourself.

*quickly from each hunchback*  <a jet pack> <a brain swapper> <a holographic postcard maker>  <a time machine>  <a clapper for the back door porch light>