Mad, Mad, Doctor Grand

On the South side of Chicago

Lives a hunchback with one hand

And he's earnin' his pay

A'haulin' brains all day

For a madman by the name of Grand

Grand says he's a doctor

A doc' of what I do not know

He's got wildfires a'burnin' in his eyes

On a face as cold as snow

And he's mad, mad, doctor Grand

Madder than the Hatter in Wonderland

Madder than Frankenstein

More twisted than a ball o' twine

Some madmen like their potions

Or their shiny time machines

But Doctor Grand wouldn't settle for less

Than a monster both big and mean

He got a secret labrotory

His computer is a Cray

He got a laser ray gun in his pocket for fun

He got some monster D.N.A.

And he's mad, mad, doctor Grand

Madder than the Hatter in Wonderland

Madder than Frankenstein

More twisted than a ball o' twine

Outside his lab not long ago

Lighting lit the night

That monster's fingers started

Twitchin' all around

And ooh it was a sight

That doctor's eyes blazed brighter

And his laughter then began

But Doctor Grand learned a lesson that night

Bout monster makin and short-sighted plans

And he's mad, mad, doctor Grand

Madder than the Hatter in Wonderland

Madder than Frankenstein

More twisted than a ball o' twine

(Slow, spooky tone on this stanza) Well on that cloudy moonless night

Chicago woke to the monster's sound ***ROAR***

The sun came up that morn to find

Chicago six feet underground

And he was mad, mad, doctor Grand

Madder than the Hatter in Wonderland

Madder than Frankenstein

More twisted than a ball o' twine