I'll Be Your Hunchback Pal

A man limps down the street

He says why am I hunched in the shoulders now

Why am I hunched in the shoulders

What's with this lazy eye

What am I supposed to be?

I need some new occupation

Headaches in the bell tower

Throbbing echoes of the sound

Bellringer Bellringer

Climbing Quasimodo-like

Far above the cold stone floor

Mr. Bellringer Bellringer

Get these bats away from me

You know I don't find this stuff amusing anymore

If you'll be my scientist

I can be your hunchback pal

I can call you doctor

And doctor when you call me

You can call me Ralph

A man walks down the street

Mumbles where the hell's my plutonium

Got a big package of plutonium

Mixed with my potions and contraptions

Where've all my hunchbacks gone

What's dewey decimal

Who's going to help me out

Now that my helpers have

Gone Gone

He left his secret lab-ro-tory

His master work and apparatus

All alone alone

With his implements and experiments

No time left to find or organize

If you'll be my scientist

I can be your hunchback pal

I can call you doctor

And doctor when you call me

You can call me Ralph

Call me Ralph

Two men walk down the street

One in a wrinkled lab coat

One in a burlap shirt

One breaks the silence with a sound

You need a place to fit in

I need a helping hand

It'll mean long hours

This ain't no union job

Job job

Body parts and toxic waste

Graveyards and asylums

Haul'n brains around around

Monsters on the cutting board

Hideous assembly

He say's "Why not?  I'll give this gig a try!"

If you'll be my scientist

I can be your hunchback pal

I can call you doctor

And doctor when you call me

You can call me Ralph

Call me Ralph